Living in a constant state of fashion-related imposter syndrome is a feeling akin to waiting for the result of a test you’re almost certain you’ve failed. A constant inkling that you’d not known enough to even manage a slightly passing grade that wakes you in the night, only this time you’re unsure if you’ve made a mistake by wearing the outfit you’d planned the day before the very second you’ve crossed the school’s threshold.

It doesn’t take much for it to be triggered. Whether it be a too long glance from someone you pass on the stairs or a missing compliment you were sure you were going to get from your best friend, the fabric you once thought was perfect quickly begins to feel like an itchy potato sack you’re truly desperate to get off before another person spots it on your body.

And the worst part?

You’re stuck at school. With no other options and no way out. And now the day you thought would be perfect and would be perfect on any other day, feels like an eternity you won’t survive the four blocks of.

But you can’t tell anyone about it. Not your friends. Not your mom. Not your favorite teacher. No one. Partly because you feel like everyone already knows and feels the same way about your outfit, but because of how shallow it feels to be so worked up to the point you might cry or throw up or both over something as frivolous as this.

So you bottle it up. Which you rationally are aware won’t help, except with the panic your clothing has suddenly set you into blinding you, it suddenly feels like the best choice you’ve ever made.

And this only proceeds to make the day worse. Every room you walk into, you feel like everyone is looking at you and thinking about how big of a mistake you’ve made. Suddenly the test you’d studied for endlessly over the past week feels insurmountably hard with the intense anxiety making your stomach hurt. You’re lashing out at your friends because you feel like you can hear people talking about you behind your back in the lunchroom when on a normal day you’d just think it to be the typical cacophony of voices blurring together in the small space. Every class passes with the efficiency of dripping molasses while your own thoughts are blending together with how wrong you feel in the moment.

Then, the day will end and so will that feeling, but the agonizing cycle you’ve gone through over and over with it won’t.

You’ll have many a day where this exact feeling will return to you in different ways and it will feel just as horrible as it did the last time. Not because there is anything wrong with you or your clothes, but rather because you truly can’t help when that isolating set of feelings comes back to bite just because you care.

And you’ll continue feeling like you’ve woken up on the wrong side of the closet, not the bed.

But despite that, you’ll always know that the next day that comes will be better, and these kinds of days are just a test you know you’ll pass regardless of how difficult it feels to move forward.

To those experiencing this feeling, know that you are not alone.